How to feel alone feels like...

Have you ever felt alone?
Have you ever actually been alone?

It's a weird feeling, its not sadness and its not actually loneliness until you are actually just you, no friends that are close or boyfriend or no one...
Is then when you realize everything you had, everything you did not appreciate, is then when you are so tense all the time, you can't put your head on the pillow and cry... you can't relax.
It's then when you want to hug someone and there s no one, its then when you want to cuddle someone and no one is around, its then when you want to look in someone's eyes and no ones looks at you, its then when you realize what a moron you are, how you scattered so much love, so many lovers, its then when you realize you deserve everything... and you did nothing for so long... accept your faith...you made it that way.